How Pregnancy Ruined (Parts Of) My Type-A Identity

August 11, 2025

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As I feel like I have talked about ad nauseum on this newsletter and elsewhere, I am pregnant and, alongside my husband, in the process of financially and emotionally preparing for parenthood. (I’m due in mid-September, if you start to wonder why you’re no longer hearing from me personally around that time.) And as someone who has always been predominately type-A, I came into this pregnancy with a lot of expectations: I was going to remain impressively active the entire time, continuing to go on long hikes and rock climb right up until the last few weeks. I was going to get our daycare ducks in a row well before our kid was even earthside. I was going to continue my hard-fought habits of eating plenty of protein and fiber with every meal. I was going to get my screen time completely under control so that I’d be the perfect parental role model by the time my baby was born. I was going to wrap up my annual reading goal of 50 books by the end of summer so I wasn’t struggling to read a ton alongside having a newborn.

And, as I’m sure plenty of you can imagine, exactly none of that has gone to plan.

(Speaking of letting go of a type-A identity: if you have been following along with my budget less/save more budget challenge, fear not — it will return soon!)

I am profoundly lucky that getting, staying, and being pregnant has been easy for me, at least on the spectrum of what people experience. Those first few weeks were hilariously in line with type-A expectations for pregnancy: I found out I was pregnant within a month of “trying” (sorry) and about a week before my missed period would have clued me in, when noticing my usual workout felt weirdly exhausting led me to take a quick test just to put my mind at ease. Within a week, I had us registered for tours at six different daycares. I immediately found a slot with a highly sought-after OBGYN who was affiliated with one of the fancy local hospitals that guarantees you a private postpartum suite (not a given in NYC). Of course, around week 7, the nausea and lightheadedness really started to get to me — but luckily, all was fixed by the time I had my first prenatal appointment and got prescribed the go-to pregnancy cocktail of vitamin B6 + Unisom, an absolute lifesaver for the rest of first trimester. 

But since then, nothing has been exactly as I planned — even with what would absolutely be considered an “easy” pregnancy. 

Staying active: I know we all have heard stories about the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy, especially at first, but there is a difference between intellectually knowing something is a possibility and actually experiencing it first hand. I’ve never napped more in my (adult) life, for one thing. Around 20 weeks, my doctor advised me to stop climbing due to the riskiness factor with my then-low-lying placenta. That particular issue has since rectified itself, but taking an 8-week break from climbing while becoming increasingly more pregnant means I ended up giving up on the mental image of my bump and me taking on the top ropes in our full-body harness. I have luckily been able to continue walking/hiking, yoga (including completing my teacher training!), and home workouts throughout pregnancy, but I had to let go of the expectation that I’d be anywhere near as active as I normally am. Also, the third-trimester hip and pelvic pain is real: even walking my usual amount is a huge ask some days. 

Nailing down the logistics: Was I hilariously early to make our daycare appointments compared to most people? Yes. Did it actually make a difference? No — we are still waiting to get off the waitlist on our preferred daycare, which has rolling admissions. And since our start date likely won’t be until February, that means we may not end up having our spot confirmed until close to the end of this year. I tried to control the process as much as I could, but it doesn’t really make a difference when faced with the reality of our local daycares’ admission processes. 

My personal wellness habits: Again, this has been a relatively straightforward pregnancy, and I can’t say I experienced substantial food aversions or life-altering nausea like a lot of people. But during that first trimester, the idea of eating my typical well-balanced meals was laughable — I just wanted carbs and cheeseburgers, and I could never figure out how to force myself to finish a serving of vegetables. And even since that part subsided, I’ve still indulged in plenty of cravings, which I’ve come to believe is an important part of pregnancy since there are so many indulgences and activities you are having to avoid. My general lack of energy means my screentime is still a work in progress, and my brain fog means finishing a book takes longer than usual. 

The entire act of being pregnant is a practice in letting go. I know I’ll feel differently once she’s actually here, but I’d be lying if I said the idea of being able to get out of bed without it being a huge physical production and having a glass of wine with dinner wasn’t as exciting as the prospect of meeting my daughter for the first time. As I keep saying to anyone who will listen, I’m sick of this! But as someone who has always prided herself on her ability to meticulously plan ahead and keep things under control, it has also been an exercise in accepting when that’s just not possible — an important reality check before I’m faced with all the uncertainties of actually giving birth, and, of course, parenthood. 

My type-A identity is certainly not gone for good; our future kid’s clothes are currently arranged by type and size with clearly marked labels in her dresser, I have a new budget ready to launch as soon as she’s here, and I’ve already set up a pre-birth consultation with a pelvic floor PT to get going on recovery as soon as possible. But I’ve begun to accept that there’s only so much I can plan for. Letting go of control is a type of grief, but hopefully it’s a small one — check back with me in a year or so after we’ve taken our first family vacation, or some other milestone I’m already stopping myself from planning!

I have three big dogs (a shepherd, a staffy, and a Pyrenees), so my life is basically a mix of fur tumbleweeds and unconditional love. Today’s recs are all about the pups:

Let’s start strong: Value Pet Supplies is my holy grail for bulk natural chews. Great prices, amazing customer service, and a family-run business right here where I live in Tennessee. My dogs think I’m a hero, my wallet thinks I’m a genius.

If the dog park stresses your pup out (same here), check out SniffSpot. You can rent someone’s backyard for private, off-leash playtime. My crew loves exploring a new spot, and I love knowing no random off-leash dog is going to crash our vibe.

For training inspo, I’m obsessed with JW Dog Training and Transform Behavior. Both focus on the dog’s emotional well-being and building a real partnership. As a 90s kid, I grew up with the whole “be the alpha” thing, so seeing this kinder, more thoughtful approach has been a game-changer.

Pet hair is my forever roommate. But I swear by my push broom/spray mop combo. We use these reusable pads that somehow pick up everything. It’s so satisfying, my boyfriend and I actually fight over who gets to sweep. 

And lastly, you need to follow the senior dog sanctuary here in Nashville on Instagram. It’s pure serotonin — just a feed full of frosty faces, waggy tails, and dogs living their absolute best golden years. I toured it last year and got to play with the senior pups, you could say it was the best day of my life. 

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