6 Ways We're Handling Finances Differently Now That We're Having A Baby

August 25, 2025

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By Holly Trantham

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As most of you probably know by now, I am pregnant, and almost officially in the “it-could-happen-any-day” phase. I’m hoping I still have plenty of time to tackle the list of things I want to do in the 3.5 weeks left until my due date, which mostly consists of “go to one last IRL Liberty basketball game” but also includes “actually wash all of the baby clothes before we have a literal baby.” But I’ve gotten the big things out of the way: the nursery is done, I got a haircut so I don’t have to worry about my hair feeling unmanageable until she’s around two months old, I’ve scheduled a frankly obnoxious number of calendar reminders for work coverage during my maternity leave, and we’re stocked up diapers that appear like they’ll last us months, even though I’m sure we’ll go through them in a matter of weeks. 

Since finding out I was pregnant at the very beginning of this year, I feel like I have had at least two appointments on my schedule every week. Most of them I anticipated (the regularly scheduled OBGYN programming, therapy specifically to prepare for this big change), while some have come up only through the experience of being pregnant (shoutout to pelvic floor PT, I have been evangelized). And some have been incredibly boring, but undoubtedly necessary. 

For instance, last week, we went to our estate planning attorney’s office to finalize and sign our will and trust — something we’d been meaning to do for years, but didn’t actually prioritize until getting pregnant. As we walked into the conference room, we noticed two mini champagne bottles on the table (I guess one for my future self to enjoy) and a festive slide projected on the wall: “Sign & Celebrate For Peter & Holly.” It felt appropriately celebratory for a meeting that would entail signing a bunch of documents that would only ever come into play should the worst happen to us (our trust/will(s), power of attorney, medical proxy, etc.), followed by making a final, not-small payment, which is to say: not actually very celebratory at all, but still appreciated. 

As I mentioned in my post detailing all the costs associated with my experience of being pregnant, we have spent a lot more money than in previous years. We’re both planners by nature (with a very significant chance of solidifying our all-earth-sign household status with this new baby, thank goodness), and while it’s true that pregnancy has thrown a lot of unplannable wrenches into my life, I don’t think that’s changing. Many of the expenses we’ve encountered are things we had planned for, but they mainly fall into the “before baby” category. Now, we’ll soon face plenty of “oh sh*t, we have an actual human kid we have to pay for” expenses. The reality is that our DINK lives have been rather cushy for the past six years we’ve been married, and while they are certainly going to continue to be cushy compared to the average American even without the “N,” we’re facing some big changes in how we prioritize different savings goals and manage our money generally.

1. Emotionally accepting our new budget. 

As I outlined in my recent budget challenge breakdown, we are completely overhauling how we budget — but I am holding space for what that will actually look like, since I can’t really budget for a child who doesn’t exist yet. Will she outgrow the clothes we bought her right away? Will I “succeed” at breastfeeding, or will we ultimately need to spend several hundred dollars a month on formula? Will we enjoy taking her to baby-and-parent classes, which are somehow always super expensive, or will we make all of our own fun? We just don’t know! But I do have to shout out our partners at Monarch: Peter and I switched over to the app to track our budget, which has been especially helpful thanks to the “flex budget” feature. It’s made it way easier to stay on top of our expenses in this very in-flux phase of figuring out what our spending will look like in this new chapter. (And I can’t *not* remind you that you can currently get 50% off your first year of Monarch with code ‘TFD50’!)

We’re simply going to be spending a lot less on ourselves — that is just the reality of parenthood for us, since we’re not okay with neglecting more important financial matters like our retirement accounts, and beyond paying for her basic needs, I know we’re going to pay for things like swimming lessons and holiday experiences and books and (a reasonable amount of) toys. (And save for her long-term needs, too, but more on that later.) While I’m mourning giving up some of my spending autonomy, I already know it will feel normal eventually. Plus, buying stuff for the baby has been more personally exciting than I anticipated. Decorating the nursery turned into a project I did for myself, wanting to create a room I’d want to spend plenty of time in that was also specifically designed for her to grow into. (If you guys are interested, I’m more than happy to do a breakdown of this in a future newsletter!)

2. Keeping more in cash (for now). 

Kids are expensive, and paying for daycare in New York City — something we will be relying on once our baby is about 4 months old — is no joke. We’re opening a new account specifically for childcare expenses, as they're a significant enough cost that I don’t want to deduct them from our monthly spending, which would quite literally cut our monthly budget by 60%. Instead, we’ve already started saving for it, and we’re aiming to build up a year’s worth of daycare expenses in that account before the monthly payments start to hit (more on how we’re accomplishing that below). 

3. Continuing to invest, but with more wiggle room. 

One thing that is not changing is maxing out our retirement contributions — we’re both adamant that our financial stability in old age will not fall on our future child’s shoulders. Also, we just don’t want to work forever. However, over the past six years, we’ve been able to put increasingly more money every year into our “rainy day” brokerage account, which started out as a home down payment fund but has ultimately shifted into a “who knows, maybe one day we’ll stop working for income” fund. Normally, the vast majority of our variable income and windfalls (my commissions, Peter’s annual bonus, our tax refund he can never seem to eliminate despite diligently making us redo our W4 withholdings every year) go directly into that brokerage account. But this year, that’s already started to change. My commission checks have gone towards big impending-child expenses like planning our estate and starting to save up for infant daycare, as will be the case with Peter’s bonus when it hits. We will continue the direct deposits into this account, so we’re not abandoning it altogether. But for now, having it be our number-one priority behind retirement is on pause. 

4. Spending (a lot) less on travel.

Another huge current budget item is the amount of money that goes directly into our travel sinking fund, which has been our number-one spending category besides our rent for the entirety of our marriage. Now, that is hardly going to be the case, thanks mainly to daycare costs. Also, we decided that while we may ultimately take a big trip next year, we’re not going to do anywhere near the amount of travel we managed the past few years — both because we have no idea what traveling with a baby will be like, and because we’d rather focus on getting into a groove with our very new routines. (And experiencing our wonderful city through the eyes of a baby! Magic!) For now, I plan to keep up the same sinking fund deposits from each paycheck, but they will be allocated for different purposes. Which brings me to:

5. Pivoting sinking fund money to 529 savings.

I do not come from generational wealth in the ways we have been conditioned to think about it: no trust fund, no planned inheritance, no super-rich parents footing the bill of my first apartment to propel me onto the property ladder (a shockingly common occurrence here in NYC). But I did have a humongous leg up in life, one I would argue is on par with a lot of other forms of generational wealth: I did not have to pay for my own higher education. I always knew this was something I would prioritize for my own child, because it would feel rude to deny them a privilege I was given, especially one I could afford for them so long as I made the proper preparations. I’m glad Peter was on the same page from the get-go of our marriage, especially considering he did not benefit from the same privilege — he/we finished paying off his loans a few years ago, about a decade after he graduated college (a pretty impressive feat, IMO!). 

To start off, we are redirecting a big chunk of what previously went exclusively to our travel sinking fund to a 529 account, which is a type of investment account specifically for education needs. I used an online calculator to determine how much to start saving each month, and found that $600 a month ($500 from us, $100 generously offered by my parents for each of their grandchildren), combined with the average amount in scholarships/grants received by households in our income bracket, would get us to about 85% of the costs covered for an out-of-state public school (assuming a 7% return). This is the same type of college Peter and I both attended, so aiming for that feels fair. We will likely increase our contributions in the future, especially once we are no longer footing the bill for private daycare (which should hopefully be right around when she turns 3, thanks to NYC’s free 3K for all program). 

6. Consulting a financial professional.

So far in our marriage, our financial goals have been pretty straightforward: max out retirement accounts, keep a plentiful emergency fund, and save for long-term goals in a brokerage account consisting mainly of low-cost index funds. I don’t think any of this has been a bad strategy by any means — but as you can see from the points above, our goals are changing. But just because we are having a child doesn’t mean we want to abandon the future we’ve been envisioning for ourselves; the planning just may need to look different. 

We ultimately decided it’s probably (finally) time for us to speak with an advisor, especially now that we have increased costs and shifting goals, but still have the desire to achieve financial independence one day. We need some direction with the bigger picture, which is exactly where a financial advisor comes in. And while an advisor seems like a big investment, the right one should help you get a larger ROI in the long run. We personally endorse Advisor.com here at TFD — they're one of the only flat-fee financial advisory services available, meaning they are working in your best interest, not trying to upsell you to increase what they earn in commissions. We know their team very well and have worked with them for years now, so if you've been thinking about working with a financial advisor, schedule a free consultation call with the Advisor team today, and never make another financial decision alone. Take this short quiz to get started (and if you sign up through TFD, you can get $500 off your first year).

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In the coming weeks and months, I’m going to be sharing more about how our household strives for equity, especially as we’re approaching this phase of new parenthood. (Don’t worry — anything you see will have been prepared before I actually take leave!) And because I think a lot of the onus falls on Peter to not fall into patriarchal traps men are conditioned into, I’m calling it The Good Husband Guide. Watch this space, and TFD’s socials, for more.

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Of course, I can’t help but shout out another Korean sunscreen gem. Let me introduce you to the Madagascar Centella Air-fit Suncream Light. This has been my daily essential this summer, as it leaves virtually no white cast, and absorbs so quickly into your skin that you’ll forget you’re even wearing it. 

Last month, I had the chance to attend an advanced movie screening with a bunch of (free) treats, and I discovered the Tru Fru Nature's Peaches & Crème - which I fully inhaled before the film even started. Keep in mind, these are very sweet, so I actually think they'd also make great mixers/additions to other things! I'm thinking of crushing them up and throwing them into a scoop or two of vanilla ice cream :) 

If you're looking to liven up some shelf space in your apartment, Ban.do has an incredibly cute roster of reasonably priced vases + planters. I recently purchased this one, which has been a lovely addition to my kitchen window shelf. 

^{While this section includes products and services from our paid partners, we only feature brands we genuinely like and use—and think you would, too.}

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