Stop Running: Personal Thoughts From Chelsea

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By Chelsea Fagan

This newsletter entry was originally written for The Society at TFD Premium members. Become a member to access Chelsea’s weekly newsletters as well as the entire archive!

For anyone who doesn't know (which would be shocking, as I have talked about it quite a bit), my husband and I rented a large home in the south of France for a month this summer. My long-term dream is to own a place myself where I could host retreats, events, and residencies in addition to our own loved ones, but this is a good compromise for the time being. Anyway, it's the first time we've hosted this many people (roughly 25 guests over 30 days), and it's been an eye-opening experience. As I shared in a recent video, it's striking how much our guests -- who range from late twenties to early forties, but mostly fall in their mid-thirties -- are living completely different lives at the same age.

Some of our friends are divorced, some are happily married, some are pregnant and some have brought their kids. (Even among the parents, there's a sharp divide between those who can't wait to bring their children on their French vacation, and those who would never dream of letting a toddler impact the experience.) There are guests whose careers have never been more impressive, and those who are considering complete professional overhauls. People are moving, changing lifestyles, going to therapy for the first time or wrapping up years-long sessions with the same doctor. Engagements have been broken off, and proposals are being planned. If this trip has taught me anything so far, it's that the mid-thirties look radically different for everyone.

I've also found that the intimacy of the location has led people to be perhaps more candid than they normally would, even during a casual night out with friends. The long days by the pool or dinners at the big communal table lend themselves to disclosure, to people being honest about the things that scare them -- the messier parts of their story they normally smudge over. Without betraying anyone's confidence (even anonymously), it was a good reminder that even for people in your close orbit, we are still often seeing only the highlight reels. 

I've been disclosing, too, speaking more candidly about my life than I basically ever have, even as a pretty transparent person. Partially because my cortisol has been at record-low levels for weeks now, I simply don't feel the same anxiety being honest about things that normally scare me to admit. I am still recovering from the year my business lost almost $300,000 in the span of a few quarters. I stopped reading almost entirely for a several-month period because every book inspired either resentment (if I felt it was not good enough) or envy (if I felt it was too good). My self-soothing sugar binges got so bad late last year that I was at the threshold of prediabetes, in addition to my unmanageable rosacea. None of this is to say that my life isn't good, or that I don't have many victories to be proud of in that same timespan, but rather that life is rarely a linear narrative -- no matter how it may appear on social media. 

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I was in the market for a new sporty crossbody bag to wear on hikes and long dog walks etc. and came across this really cool brand called topologie that perfectly fit the bill. I love that you can select the bag and the strap separately to customize the look. I shopped in-store at their NYC location and had so much fun mixing and matching. Ended up going with the Phone Sacoche 90 in Black and the 6.0mm Rope in Black Jukebox for maximum versatility, but there are SO many fun combos to choose from. Reasonably priced as well! 

Now that Love Island is winding down (UK only, I’m a purist) I’ve started to expand my summer TV intake and so far I’m loving the new Lena Dunham show on Netflix with Meg Stalter (my girl) called Too Much. Say Nothing on Hulu is also fantastic. And I’m just now realizing that both of these shows are technically set in the UK as well so I guess it really is a Jet2 Holiday Summer for me… 

Other than watching TV, I’ve also been working on a few low-lift upgrades around my apartment. If you are also dealing with an unfortunate ‘boob light’ situation, this company called Tulip creates easy to install lampshades that you can just pop right on. I ordered the Gem in Fern and can’t wait for it to arrive.

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