Read This Before You Change Everything About Yourself In January

January 5, 2026

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By Skylar Hunyadi

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s an honor to be the guest author of the first essay of The Financial Diet’s newsletter this year. With that said, you may be expecting something goal-related and inspiring to kick off January. ICYMI, that was my last essay: Your (Gentle) Yearly Reset. This time, I’m diving into a topic that, frankly, I cannot shut up about.

If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll remember my 2022 newsletter piece, How Trying To Be 'That Girl' Is a Waste of Time. In that essay, I dissected the #ThatGirl trend, why it was harmful, and why I stopped buying into it altogether. Consider this my updated post-mortem on the last three years and the sneaky ways idealized womanhood keeps rebranding itself.

So, let’s start 2026 with a critical look at the self-optimization industrial complex, and a little feminist cheer for good measure.

At the time, I wasn’t alone in my critique of That Girl. There was a brief cultural moment in which the trend, and others like it, were being challenged for their subtle patriarchal roots, particularly the way “self-optimization” was framed as empowerment. For a second there, I really thought we were outgrowing this unrealistic standard, but really, it was just rebranded, as it has been throughout history. I’ve seen That Girl compared to the 1950s housewife propaganda, a put-together, beautiful, idealized version of femininity: same message, different font. 

Fast forward to post-2022: instead of dismantling That Girl, it got a slew of new aesthetics. In late 2022 and early 2023, the Clean Girl rose to the FYP, a polished, minimalist girl who lived and died by the slicked-back bun. Iterations of this trend were born, such as Wellness Girl, Gym Girl, Soft Girl, and High-Functioning Girl. Don’t even get me started on the impact of diet culture on these trends; that’s for another essay altogether. 

I like to think that this next era attempted to embrace other personality types that didn’t fit neatly into the confines of morning yoga and post-Pilates matcha — a wave of girl-themed micro-trends, if you will. For example, Girl Math, Girl Dinner, being a Strawberry Girl vs. Tomato Girl. These trends gave off more playful vibes than the serious wellness routines of their predecessor. Amid this, with the Clean Girl aesthetic still going strong, something different arose. Enter: the Maximalist Girl, often inspired by the loud, overstated fashion of the 2000s, embracing nostalgia and unapologetic confidence.

It makes sense that what came next was the infamous summer of 2024, when Charli XCX coined it the season of Brat. Brat Summer was an even stancher contrast to the refined vibe of the That/Clean Girl trends. The carefree, messy energy of this trend completed the cycle: from the preserved and poised to the chaotic and defiant. 

Each of these trends carries a similar message to our 1950s counterparts: there is always a “right” way to be a woman, and you should be striving to embody it.

To risk making sweeping assumptions, there are versions of these trends that are completely harmless and even pro-feminist, in that they bring women together for collective fun. I admit, in summer 2024, I was learning the Charlie XCX Apple dance with my female friends and sharing Girl Dinner recipes, not taking any of it too seriously. 

But my therapist-mind loves a subversive deep-dive on the most toxic forms of these trends and what they can cost us as women. 

On the surface, there is an unspoken set of criteria to call yourself This Girl or That Girl. For example, I’d be remiss not to highlight the 2010-2014 Girl Boss phenomenon, in which hustle culture functioned almost like a religion, complete with a signature color-coded planner in hand. The daily habits associated with these trends, for all intents and purposes, can and often do improve people’s lives. Still, they risk becoming performative — only “counting” if displayed pristinely in an Instagram story. Think curated morning routines and staged workout scenes, validated primarily by how many people view or like that particular post.

And it wouldn’t be late-stage capitalism if a trend didn’t come with a price tag: supplements, skincare, workout classes, athleisure, “investment” purchases--heck, entirely restocking your wardrobe to match the aesthetic of the moment. Both how we present ourselves and how we spend our money are reinforced by who we follow; our feeds are socially filtered to showcase only those who adhere to the edicts of idealized womanhood. The message? Optimize your life to be just so, and make it look effortless while you’re at it.

As you can imagine, I see countless iterations of idealized womanhood in my daily work as a therapist, particularly as I work with women ranging in age from sixteen to ninety. 

It’s a never-ending list of “shoulds” and “have-tos,” shapeshifting from generation to generation, be it the pious, forgiving woman of the Catholic Church or the Corporate Wellness Girlie of the early 2020s. The psychological impacts of these trends are clear: a vice-like grip between our self-worth and performance. With a goalpost that continually moves, of course, it can increase our internalized sense of failure, leading to shame-based motivation, all wrapped up in the pretty bow of wellness-speak. 

Now, in 2026, nearly three and a half years after the peak of Clean Girl, the shape-shifting cycle continues. 

Amidst these more insidious examples, something reminiscent of the quirky micro-trends that followed Clean Girl is rising once again. Gen Z, with its generation-wide value placed on authenticity and self-expression, ushered the Messy Girl onto the social media scene. This aesthetic favors less curation and more authenticity online.

Whether this “way of being” will eventually be twisted like the rest remains to be seen. But as a Millennial, I can almost sense a collective sigh of relief at not having to overly-edit Instagram carousels or delete a story because I spelled something wrong. Think blurry photos and micro-aesthetics like indie sleaze revival and other algorithm-born niche identities. 

Despite this iota of hope, idealized womanhood remains in cahoots with the toxic versions of wellness, productivity, and career culture that so heavily infiltrate our everyday lives. 

This is usually the part of an essay where the writer switches to unfettered optimism, highlighting what you, the vulnerable female consumer, can do to step away from these expectations. As much as I wish I had the perfect solution, I don’t. I, too, feel the pressure to invest in luxury workout leggings one day and buy $50 journals the next. It’s the cycle of hope, discipline, burnout, and shame that keeps us buying solutions, buying acceptance, and buying our worth. Being a woman in the current wellness-industrial landscape is confusing and exhausting. The “just stop following them” advice isn’t always realistic. The pressures of these trends go beyond our screens and into our social groups. After all, it’s human psychology to want to belong to an identity, even if it harms our self-esteem.

*****

But here’s what I will say: Build a strong radar for trend-based self-worth, gently call yourself out on performative habits, and remember that the ideal will always shift — the problem was never you.

For more from Sky, join her on Substack! Subscribe here to receive her personal essays right to your inbox. Here's her latest post. This newsletter is a cozy corner of self care, reflections, and other small pleasures. All are welcome <3

Skylar is a licensed clinical mental health counselor who talks about self-care as the foundation of a prosperous life. She has a deep love for yoga, vegetarian cooking, and religiously organizing her Google calendar. Follow her on Instagram for more self-care and mental health content or on LinkedIn for the more ~professional~ stuff.

A reminder as we are currently in peak ~financial goals~ season, this is what we here at TFD personally endorse and use ourselves to reach all of our financial goals!

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