Love Is Blind, But Money Talks

March 3, 2025

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By Holly Trantham

Friday’s latest drop of episodes of Love Is Blind ended on a cliffhanger: Sara, a 28-year-old oncology nurse whose biggest values include LGBT rights, is standing at the altar with Ben, a 27-year-old former athlete who admitted he didn’t vote in the 2020 election*. This came after many episodes spent on the same ongoing conversation between these two, wherein she would try to ascertain whether they were on the same page politically, and he would assure her that he accepts everyone and is willing and excited to learn and grow.

*This is a little bit of my own extrapolating, but as this season was recorded in March of last year and I highly doubt this man is turning up at the midterms, I’m sticking with my assumption that his confession he didn’t vote in the “last election” was in reference to 2020.

One of those conversations centered on Ben’s choice of church. After attending a service with him with an open mind, Sara didn’t get the answers she wanted in regards to the church’s stance on things like gay marriage and trans rights. (The abbreviated sermon we saw focused heavily on proselytizing rather than any actual bible teachings, as far as I could tell.) When she later found one of their sermons online that confirmed that the church did not, in fact, share her views, she asked Ben if he had known this, to which he responded that he didn’t. Throughout the season, Ben has repeatedly assuaged her concerns and confirmed that their values are aligned. But to me, his actions illustrate something very different. 

Not only does he attend a church that directly conflicts with these views he says he holds, it has never been important enough to him to confirm one way or another. Sara has been open to the idea of attending church with him, something that is very much not a part of her life at this point — but when she shares that she’s unhappy with the church’s stance on LGBT issues, his response is essentially nothing. 

At the very least, Ben is proving himself to be something I think plagues Americans, especially (white/straight/cis) men: he is fundamentally uncurious. He’s never thought to ask himself tough questions or consider how his life has been more privileged than others around him. I want to be clear that I think people are capable of growth and change. But in all of the conversations between these two, the onus is always on Sara to push him to think critically.  If he's so set on attending service every week as a part of their married life, he could have easily offered to find a more inclusive church (in a city like Minneapolis, there are bound to be plenty!). It’s not that he’s unwilling to meet her halfway; it’s that meeting her halfway never crosses his mind as something of necessity. 

Ben’s hardly the only male contestant from this season who is at best apolitical, and at worst, a lot more conservative than he is willing to admit. I was disappointed to hear that Devin, a high school girl’s basketball coach, held some views on abortion that were less than staunchly pro-choice/anti-forced pregnancy, and don’t even get me started on Dave’s “fiscally conservative but socially liberal” spiel, as if he’s still stuck voting in 2008.

We use the term “adult toddler” here at TFD to describe the phenomenon of men who need to be babied by their wives into contributing to household labor in any capacity. But I think it also applies to a lot of what we are seeing on this season of Love Is Blind: men who need to be coddled into thinking critically about issues beyond themselves. The three I’ve mentioned here all seemed to think it was perfectly okay to have differing baseline political views than your partner. I know that women like Sara and Virginia (Devin’s fiance) adamantly don’t feel this way, because they have said as much, and because they remind me of my own girlfriends — none of whom would settle for a husband who didn’t fully share their fundamental values, including the commitment to learn more. 

I can’t help but be sad about the potential outcome of Sara marrying a man who, when asked his opinion on the Black Lives Matter movement, was to say he just “tried to stay out of it.” I honestly can’t remember if these two have touched on the topic of abortion, but I can only imagine the lack of critical thinking he’s dedicated to that issue (something that, in my opinion, is primarily an economic issue for women). I understand that no one is perfect, and everyone has the capacity for growth. But it so often falls to women to instigate that growth in their male partners — it’s just more mental load and coddling, and it’s exhausting.

I don’t have a solution to offer, except to say that men really need to step it up. If women and marginalized gender identities had the capacity to inspire a mass cultural shift in men toward introspection and critical thinking about economic privilege/domestic labor/thinking beyond their own circumstances, it would have happened by now. 

*****

Luckily, I have a lot more to say about this season, not all of it completely depressing (lol). We just launched a new members-only podcast for our premium subscribers on Patreon and YouTube, wherein our wonderful production manager, Alexa, and I dive into the money conflicts, relationship dynamics, and political issues that abound this season. The first two episodes are out now, with new episodes dropping Fridays in March! I hope you tune in, but if not, I’m certain I’ll be back with more thoughts in this newsletter sometime soon.

One thing about me is that I love crafts and have been recently going through my air-clay era~ I was recently gifted an Air-Clay Home Pottery Kit from Sculpd! This kit contains all of the instructions, tools, paint, and even the glossy or matte finish! I could not recommend this enough as a perfect gift idea for the fellow arts and craft enthusiast in your life, and in my opinion even makes for a more lovely activity suggestion for any occasion :)

I was introduced to Dalmatia Fig Orange Spread at a Galentine's, and have been combining this spread on Ritz crackers with some Boursin Garlic & Herb Gournay Cheese. A low-lift yet truly delectable snack for any time of the day! 

As the (unofficial) spokesperson for Glow Recipe, I have to hand it to the one that's held me down in Q1, the Watermelon Glow PHA + BHA Pore-Tight Toner - I've seen such a difference since the first time I've used it in December of last year. It's changed the hydration game for me and my pores have really minimized over time!

🎙️We’re excited to share our latest podcast capsule series, LOVE IS BLIND, BUT MONEY TALKS. This 5-part series is co-hosted by Holly & TFD’s Content & Production Manager (and overall amazing person), Alexa. The first 2 episodes are now available for Society Premium members! In this series they’re deep diving into Love Is Blind season 8 as well as previous seasons, who we adored, who we may need to warm up to, why money and political conversations should be featured more in (and out of!) the pods, and how the show has proven that love really isn’t blind. The next episode drops this Friday!

🎥 Our extremely timely February video essay is now live! If you haven’t done so already, make sure to check out It's Not Left Or Right, It's Up Or Down. This video is a deep dive into why Americans are obsessed with rich people including how its taking over our government and impacting our day-to-day lives. It’s another banger! And a reminder that $4.99 and up members of the ​Society at TFD​ get an ad-free extended version!

🎬And in company news, we’re thrilled to share a brand-new YouTube series we’re ~producing~ with our friends at Edelman Financial Engines. The series, Ask The Planners, is exciting for us because it’s the first time we’re in producer-mode for a brand other than ourselves, and we’re thrilled to be working with them on it! With the new year in full swing, we know financial goals are top of mind. But are you setting yourself up properly? This series is packed with expert insights from their financial planners to help you build a solid financial future. New episodes drop every Thursday! We’d love if you would check it out.

✨Make sure to get your hands on our latest guidebook, Your Financial Emergency Plan. We put together this 15 page guidebook together to help you focus your energy on something practical and actionable during these chaotic times. As Holly states inside the guide, "taking care of each other starts with taking care of yourself. Hopefully, this guidebook gives you some of the tools to do just that." This is exclusively available for members of The Society Premium. Our next guidebook drops this Thursday!

🎥And don’t forget to check out our latest YouTube capsule series, Asked & Answered, cohosted by Chelsea & Erin Lowry of Broke Millennial. This series is dedicated to answering your personal money questions, from budgeting and investing basics, to navigating the financial headlines of our current political climate. Check out episode 1, Is Trump Going To Destroy The Banks? as well as episode 2, “Is My Broke Friend Jealous Of Me?” — episode 3 drops later this week!

The Society at TFD is our members-only community with access available on both YouTube and Patreon. Joining The Society is the best way to directly support TFD! The Society offers the exact same things on both platforms, so choose whichever one you prefer!

We offer 3 tier options:

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The Society at TFD: $4.99/month — includes everything in the $2.99 tier plus:

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• Weekly newsletter from Chelsea

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