9 Ways To Find Connection When You're In A Lonely Place

For four weeks, we are bringing you Committing To Community: weekly prompts designed to help you take a fresh look at personal and financial goals for 2026 in light of today’s political and economic realities. We’re inviting you to consider the broader impact of both your money and your time: how to align spending and lifestyle with their personal values, find ways to get involved that fit YOUR life and give more intentionally. Special thanks to our partners at The New York Community Trust for sponsoring this series!

By Holly Trantham

When we think about what we want our “dream life” to look like, we often default to our career, free time, and money. But it’s not just the financial picture you want to think about: who do you want to have around you? Most of us have family in some form, but real community is not a given. And making connections only gets harder as we get older; we all know how loneliness is affecting young people, but it’s also growing in adults over 45. The best way to combat impending loneliness, and build the dream community life you want for yourself? Start investing in your community now.

Of course, investing in your community can come through both your time and your finances. For those of us here in the NYC area, that starts with the New York Community Trust. The Trust has been a pioneer in combining the generosity of caring people to improve life in the region. From making grants that help communities in need to improving education to shaping local policies that make life better for everyone. It’s not just opaquely giving money and hoping for the best — the Trust works to turn your vision into lasting impact through tailored charitable funds and advising that align with your values and goals. They bring unmatched local expertise, personalized service, and a steadfast commitment to building a better future for all. If you want to make a difference, a Donor-Advised Fund at The New York Community Trust is the best first step. A DAF works like a charitable checkbook that lets you give tax-smart, eliminate paperwork, use a variety of assets, and give in your name or stay anonymous! Your charitable dollars are then invested while you suggest grants with optional guidance from their giving experts. 

When you have a DAF at the Trust, you are joining a community of like-minded donors. You can get invited to in-person and virtual events and connect with high-impact organizations working on the causes you care about. Level up your giving to the causes you care about with The New York Community Trust.

If you’re looking to build more connections, here are some (relatively) low-lift ways to start:

• Don’t hesitate to be the one to reach out. Ego often doesn’t serve us, but it especially doesn’t when we are feeling lonely. Waiting to reach out because you feel like it’s the other person’s turn means you could be waiting…a long time. 

• Say “yes” first, even if it sounds boring. If you are feeling particularly lonely, accept the first invite you get — we’re not kidding. (Caveat for things like a political group you’re not aligned with, of course.) The more you can grow accustomed to getting yourself out of the house for IRL connection opportunities, the more natural these outings will feel. 

• Volunteer with hyper-local groups. Here in NYC, you can use New York Cares to plug into hundreds of volunteer opportunities on the issues you care about and convenient to your location and availability, even if your availability is limited. Another great option is to get involved with your local mutual aid group, delivering groceries or doing other errands for underserved individuals in your neighborhood. 

• Become a regular. Start hanging out at the same coffee shop or bar at the same time every week. Even just getting to know your local barista on a slightly deeper level than “hey how’s it going” can make a big difference in feeling tangibly connected to your local community. 

• Attend (or suggest) events at your local bookstore, library, or game shop. These tend to be the types of places that already have programming in place, such as book clubs or board game nights. When you are struggling to find connection, joining formalized groups can sometimes feel like a lower barrier to entry than “putting yourself out there” in less structured social spaces. 

• Get involved with a public space you already frequent. From clean-ups to concerts, most events in parks and public spaces are run by nonprofits. Find out what groups are affiliated with your favorite park and sign up for their newsletter or follow them on social media. Pro tip: email newsletters and social media tend to be more up-to-date than org websites.  

• Start a “parallel play” group. Open up your living room or reserve a few hours in a library space for yourself and others with a similar interest, such as a fiber arts group if you’re a knitter. Craft shops often host or advertise these events as well. You don’t all have to be working on the same types of projects, but enjoying camaraderie while you’re all focused on your own thing can be a really nice way to build friendships. 

• Ask a friend to join you for life admin nights. This was a recent suggestion from TFD team member Alexa, and it’s a wonderful idea for turning something “boring” into an opportunity for connection.

• Be the person who always remembers birthdays and sends the annual holiday card. Put birthdays in your calendar as soon as you see social media posts; add addresses to your contacts the first time you visit someone’s home. And take pride in becoming the person who always texts, sends a card, or shows up with homemade cookie dough. You don’t have to go overboard with gift-giving to signal to others that you’ve been thinking of them.

Thanks again to The Trust for sponsoring this series. Level up your giving to the causes you care about with The New York Community Trust.