7 Rules for Being Rich
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In one of our recent videos, Chelsea shared some thoughts she’s been sitting with for a while, especially as a person who has very publicly ascended social classes while holding onto her values: the rules any rich person should follow to actually live a good life with money, both for yourself and for your loved ones. Because there's one uncomfortable truth: wealth doesn't automatically come with wisdom. Money solves many problems (even more so than therapy for some circumstances), but it also introduces new ones. It can distort your priorities, isolate you from other people, or tempt you into treating your net worth like your personality. (Obviously, some people have far too much money. We’re not talking to them here.)
At the same time, we are constantly being inundated with advice about getting rich. “Experts” who are glorified crypto bros tell us to obsess over investment strategies, tax loopholes, side hustles, and morning routines. But there’s very little talk about what life should actually look like once money anxiety is no longer keeping you up at night.
And since many of you are bigger readers than watchers, we decided to break down her points in this special newsletter. Without further ado, here are Chelsea’s seven rules for being a rich person:
Rule #1: Decenter the Number
There's nothing inherently meaningful about having a seven-figure investment account, a certain salary, or a specific net worth. Those are the financial equivalent of staring at the number of steps your phone says you took instead of just actually enjoying a walk.
Unfortunately, having money makes a lot of people cheap. If you’re too focused on a FIRE number or a certain net worth, it can make you spiritually worse off — and can even work against you. Building relationships and practicing generosity when it’s available to you (which, keep in mind, does not always have to be tied to money) is almost always worth investing in, even if it “costs” you something in the short run.
And if you can only retire by 40 by being the cheapest you possibly can, in both your enjoyment of life and how you treat other people…is it really worth it?
Rule #2: Decide What Your Money Is For
Money without purpose has a way of becoming an endless exercise in optimization for the sake of nothing. You have to ask yourself a deceptively simple question: If your investments doubled tomorrow, what would actually change about your life?
You need to have a reason for wealth that goes beyond your immediate comfort. Yes, that is important, but a wealthy life is one that is built around community — something that people with money often find themselves increasingly isolated from as they have more money to throw at any problem. How can your wealth root you more deeply in community?
For you, that could be buying back time by working fewer hours, so you have more time to organize for local politicians you believe in. It could be making sure your aging family members never have to worry about healthcare costs. Or it could be creating a home where friends always feel (and know they are) welcome, supporting artists and local businesses, or traveling extensively to see faraway loved ones.
The specifics don't matter nearly as much as the existence of an answer.
(Of course, once you know what that “why” is behind your wealth, you will likely still need to strategize how to get there. Talking with a financial advisor is always a good move. Be sure to use our link and schedule a free consultation with our friends at Advisor.com if you’re ready to take the next step!)
Rule #3: Invest in Therapy
This is particularly true for people who did not come from money, who even experienced scarcity or trauma, and now have the opposite problem. Scarcity leads so many people to hoard wealth rather than live with a lens of abundance, which causes its own kinds of issues.
Money itself is not going to heal the wound that growing up in scarcity left. It will solve most of your problems, and we don’t want to downplay that. But having money in your bank account doesn’t teach you what kind of spending is actually beneficial versus what is just fulfilling a superficial, externally-motivated desire. What we choose to prioritize is deeply emotional and psychological, and it comes out in the decisions we make with our money. For those who can afford it, therapy isn’t a luxury.
Rule #4: Stop Splitting the Check
Obviously, this is a little metaphorical — sometimes it makes perfect sense to split expenses. But few habits reveal our relationship with money more than the ritual of splitting, and especially itemizing, the bill. If you've reached a place where money is genuinely abundant, constantly calculating who owes what can become less about fairness, and more about that same scarcity mindset you've never quite let go of. Do you really need to nickel-and-dime friends who had an extra drink than you did, especially if you know you make three times as much money?
Generosity isn't a financial transaction — it's a social one. Some of the wealthiest people are also the most exhausting people to eat with because every meal turns into an accounting exercise. Venmo requests appear before dessert; someone is calculating tax down to the penny; everyone leaves feeling like they participated in a group project instead of sharing an evening together.
The last way anyone should want to live is to be wrapped up in a level of spiritual abundance they can count themselves lucky to experience, only to turn around and be cheap with a friend.
Rule #5: Focus on Policy, Not Charity
It's easy to think that being a "good rich person" means donating to causes you care about. Nonprofits do incredible work, and many organizations rely on individual donations to survive. But charity is not, and should not be, the system by which societal change is actually made.
Charity often addresses the symptoms of inequality, but policy has the potential to address the causes. Relieving symptoms can make an individual rich person feel good, but it doesn’t really do anything to fix the root causes of systemic issues like poverty and inequality. So it's worth asking ourselves a slightly uncomfortable question: do we want to solve problems, or do we want to feel good about helping? Being rich means having the option to unplug from the lived reality of other people in your community. We would argue that in order to live a spiritually rich life as a monetarily rich person, you need to push against that drive as much as possible. And yeah, as a rich person, that means advocating for raising taxes for the wealthy, even if it impacts your bottom line.
And remember that one thing wealth buys you is time. The more time you have on your hands, the more you are able to get involved in whatever political cause is most important to you. Rich people really don’t have an excuse here.
Rule #6: Stop Gaslighting Everyone — Including Yourself
One of the stranger social expectations placed on wealthy people is that they're supposed to pretend money doesn't actually change anything. You'll hear phrases like, "Money can't buy happiness," or "I'm just like everyone else," delivered from the deck of a vacation home.
Of course money doesn't solve every problem. It can't (completely) guarantee good health, loving relationships, meaningful work, or emotional well-being. But pretending it doesn't dramatically improve many aspects of life is its own form of dishonesty. It buys access to healthcare, safer neighborhoods, reliable transportation, better legal representation, childcare, flexibility, and the ability to recover from life's inevitable setbacks without everything falling apart.
Acknowledging that isn't arrogance. It's reality.
You don't need to perform a kind of false modesty that insists your life hasn't become easier because of money. Being honest, and putting yourself out there for potential criticism (read: being calling you out of touch, either on the internet or behind your back) is a small price to pay compared to people who live not knowing how they’re going to make rent this month.
Rule #7: Actually F*cking Enjoy Your Money
On one hand, the hamster wheel of consumerism has especially warped objectively rich people’s perception of what is a need vs. a want. It leads to the kind of lifestyle inflation that makes it feel like you’re living paycheck to paycheck when your annual salary is many times more than what you’d need to live an enjoyable life.
On the other, rich people are more obsessed with work than basically anything else. Truly what is the point of having money if you’re going to spend your days on vacation with your laptop open by the pool?
Financial security is valuable because it creates freedom — not because it lets you accumulate increasingly impressive markers of wealth and success until you drop dead from burnout. Being rich means you have the space to actually figure out what makes life worth living, investing in that, and tuning out the rest.
Because the best financial goal was never simply becoming wealthy. It was becoming someone who knows exactly what to do with that wealth once they have it.

