5 Financial “Love Languages” That Strengthen Relationships

February 9, 2026

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Before we get into today’s newsletter, we want to remind you about our upcoming workshop, How To Financially Prepare For An AI-Driven Future, happening Wednesday, February 18th at 6:30pm ET. This workshop is especially important if the current job market has you feeling unsettled. With AI disruption, layoffs, and contract work reshaping how people earn, many are trying to figure out what to do right now with their money—whether to keep investing, hold more cash, or pause big decisions altogether. In this workshop, Chelsea and licensed financial advisor Kellen Thayer (of Advisor.com) will walk you through how to adjust your investing and financial plan when income is uneven or uncertain, without taking on unnecessary risk or sitting on the sidelines out of fear. The focus is on practical strategies that help you keep building wealth, protect yourself during job transitions, and stay on track for long-term stability even if a “steady paycheck” is no longer the norm. Click here to register!

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By Skylar Hunyadi

Even in the year 2026, Valentine’s Day marketing does a stellar job of putting the pressure on for grand gestures and gift-giving. The hyper-commercialization of this holiday (i.e., giant displays of deeply mid chocolate and mass-produced teddy bears) is hard to pass without a twinge of guilt or obligation to spend money, to “show” your loved one you care — conveniently, right when many of us are trying to recover from holiday spending.

As someone who’s celebrated twelve Valentine’s Days with their partner, I’ve learned that instead of chocolates and flowers, we both much prefer a surprise takeout coffee or a small dinner out, if anything at all. And beyond what feels like a superficial month-long celebration of love, there are the more important gestures — like a fair budget and thoughtful spending all year round.

Because what’s more romantic than financial stability?

As a therapist, I talk a lot about how financial behavior communicates care, and how differing expectations around money can lead to misunderstandings. Where love and money get tangled is in the emotional meaning we assign to managing money, what those choices symbolize about priority and commitment to one another. 

To help disentangle these expectations a bit and start this February off with a little ~self-reflection~, I’ve broken down five ways financial behavior can show up in relationships — Money Love Languages, if you will. 

The “Money Love Languages” (that I've entirely made up, but I think are spot on!)

1. “I love you by keeping our life running.” 

This person is in charge of financial logistics, like bills, and making sure the financial behind-the-scenes is taken care of. They don’t miss a financial beat, because they’ve already planned for all scenarios.  

2. “I love you by treating you.”

This partner shows care through physical gift-giving, setting up and paying for dates, and other special experiences. For them, giving is a language of consideration. It’s evidence they paid attention to and prioritized their partner.

3. “I love you by creating long-term stability.” 

This is the “let’s invest that money instead of spending it immediately" partner. They are thinking ahead to retirement and setting up foundational ventures that will decrease stress in the long term. This partner may (lovingly) be known as the Scrooge in the relationship, but it pays off in the long run. 

4. “I love you by sharing freedom.” 

The “yes” partner spends without guilt. By saying yes and encouraging spending on joyful or pleasurable things in the short term, they model the belief that money can be a tool for connection rather than just a source of responsibility.

5. “I love you through fairness and teamwork.” 

This money love language shows up as shared decision-making and open conversations about financial needs and limits. It’s about a willingness to adjust so neither partner carries more than their fair share. It means revisiting agreements as circumstances change and treating flexibility as a form of care.

Where Conflict Shows Up

When reading through the Financial Love Languages, you may already notice where conflict can arise — for example, the gift-loving partner versus the more practical partner. There’s also the risk of one partner feeling unseen or unappreciated in how they need to express or receive love and care through money. At the core is a misalignment in values and expectations between these styles, which can easily trigger insecurity and conflict.

These differences often become most apparent in day-to-day decisions, such as splitting bills, saving for future goals, or deciding how much to spend on a small treat. What feels like generosity or flexibility to one partner can feel careless or indulgent to another. Over time, small miscommunications can turn into resentment, even when both partners feel they have good intentions.

The key is recognizing that these conflicts aren’t about right or wrong. Like much of the advice around the original Love Languages, the first step is to identify and respect these differences. These approaches can coexist harmoniously with intentional communication and mutual understanding.

But here’s the honest tea: sometimes these Financial Love Languages clash in ways that just can’t be smoothed over, and that’s okay. Money is often a reflection of deeper values and ways of approaching life altogether. If your styles consistently collide, it can be a signal to take a hard look at larger relationship compatibility, not as a judgment, but as information about how you and your partner want to navigate the world. Sometimes love isn’t about perfect alignment; it’s about whether you can respect and grow with each other despite the differences.

So, what does love beyond spending look like? 

Living in an intensely capitalistic society, it makes sense that many of us are taught to express love through money (after all, we have entire holidays dedicated to it). But it’s equally important to normalize and value other expressions of care, such as financial transparency, mutual planning and respecting one another’s financial boundaries. And this goes beyond regular check-ins on financial goals and mutual decision-making. The sweet spot is when both people feel acknowledged and valued in their financial lives. 

*****

With care and without judgment, can you identify your own Financial Love Language? What about your partner’s? Where have these styles worked in harmony, and where have they felt misaligned? 

To state it simply: financial intimacy is real intimacy. Skip the chocolate, skip the overpriced bouquets, and focus on how you actually show up for each other with money.

For more from Sky, join her on Substack! Subscribe here to receive her personal essays right to your inbox. Here's her latest post. This newsletter is a cozy corner of self care, reflections, and other small pleasures. All are welcome <3

Skylar is a licensed clinical mental health counselor who talks about self-care as the foundation of a prosperous life. She has a deep love for yoga, vegetarian cooking, and religiously organizing her Google calendar. Follow her on Instagram for more self-care and mental health content or on LinkedIn for the more ~professional~ stuff.

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FEBRUARY 18: As mentioned in the intro to this newsletter, we’re hosting a free workshop later this month! Join Chelsea & licensed financial advisor, Kellen Thayer for How To Financially Prepare For An AI Driven Future. As AI, layoffs, contract work, and an increasingly unstable job market have made the idea of a “steady paycheck” feel more fragile than ever. Many people are navigating real fear about being replaced, downsized, or forced into more volatile work—while still trying to build wealth, protect themselves, and eventually retire. This workshop will focus on how investing and financial planning should adapt when income feels uncertain or at risk—without resorting to extreme risk-taking, constant market timing, or freezing out of fear. The goal isn’t to predict the future of work, but to build a financial strategy that can hold up even as the system becomes more volatile. We’ll break down what traditional advice still works, what needs to change, and how to build real resilience into your financial plan so you can keep investing, growing wealth, and creating long-term stability—even in an unpredictable labor market. Take our short quiz to register!

Join Chelsea along with some very special guests for How To Take Political Action 101 (date will be confirmed soon!) — Scrolling social media can leave us feeling angry, frustrated, or powerless—but it doesn’t have to stop there. Our hosts will share expert insights on how to take meaningful political action without feeling overwhelmed. This workshop will show you how to channel your energy into tangible steps, from local and national engagement to effective communication and sustainable involvement. You’ll leave with a practical toolkit for turning concern into real-world impact. This workshop is designed for anyone who wants to move from frustration to action—whether you’re new to political engagement or looking for ways to be more organized and effective. Be the first to know when registration opens. Drop your email in this form so we can notify you directly!

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